Sometimes I make the day a lot more dramatic than it really is. Sometime I embellish for the sake of intrigue. Sometimes I forget to question my actions before I do them.
Today is going to be the end of that.
I'm not entirely proud per say of who I was yesterday but I was proud of moments. The moment I woke up, pulled myself together, and made it back to my room; The moment I didn't punch Emma again; the moment I woke up in time to long into math; The AMAZING English class I had that has me GASSED to the moon and back. The moment I decided to host in my room. The moment I cleaned my room for once. Im proud of all these things. As I am trying to work on change, I want to stop forcing myself to be perfect one way or another in an instant, but instead to praise myself and reward myself for the good things that I've done.
My days events as I recall mostly started after my last English class where I got to meet up with Chloe and a surprise Justin and have lunch. Justin is a lot but he was fun enough. It was kinda fun to hold my ground against him. Chloe is honestly such a great friend. It's odd because she is someone I don't feel as though is or wants to compete with me so it's a lot easier for me to unload my life on her and she took it like a champ and helped me laugh too.
My favorite part of the day had to be the bling pillow fight though. I got to cope with feelings with my friends doing weird and loud and safely aggressive activities with my friends and run around. I honestly felt like a devious little child. Plus all that fun ended at Jimmy and Lukes and a well smoked bowl. I can't be mad at that. Not even a little.
Movie night was nice enough if anything it convinced me to clean my room and it was my first time having Luke come visit where I live which was kinda weird since it is usually the other way around. I don't know how he felt about being over here-- it's very different from his room-- but I was happy none the less that I got to spend a night squished in my bed with Chloe, Toby, Ashley, Luke, and Jerome.
While the insomnia is hardly going away I'm hoping that finding a little more space to myself will help me at least be productive with my time being awake. Now for example, I just finished studying all of my spanish vocabulary checked my homework for my other classes and now am doing a bit of journaling which I think will be good for me to try and do every night going forward. At the very least it will make sure I get back to my room.
While I have some more desires I'd like to do before the night is done, I am happy that I got my first blog post out tonight.
Sleep sound,
Nic @ Nite
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